While I was driving to work I was irritated by a thoughtless driver. He had no business being in the outer lane of the roundabout if he wanted to go anywhere but the next exit (which is the 9 o'clock turn from where he started). I mean, shhessshhh... don't they teach you that in driving ed? Kalau nak pergi ke sebelah kiri, guna outer circle. Kalau nak pergi straight, kanan or back to the road you came from, guna inner circle. SUSAH SANGAT KE NAK FAHAM??!!!. Anyway, here I was in the inner circle and wanting to go straight (12 o'clock) and he was in the outer circle going 'god-knows-where'. So, I signalled and wanted to exit the roundabout but there he was hesitating to either let me thru first or to keep on blocking me by being parallell to my car. Ends up with me getting honked by the person behind me becaused I practically had to stop right there and then in the middle of the roundabout because I couldn't exit it. And that damned driver had the cheeks to look angry at me for trying to cut in front of him. HELL!! I was trying to exit. He wasn't even supposed to be there. And so I finally accepted that there are some things I can't change (for instance the stupidity of some motorists).

This event had triggered a train of thoughts on stuffs that I have to learn to accept. So I have now officially:-

1. Given up on getting mad on the road. It is just not worth it. It spoils my mood. It's a waste of energy. And the idiotic person I am supposed to channel all this anger towards doesn't even know it.
2. Given up on trying to diet. There are other ways to losing weight which are much more enjoyable like... swimming, dancing, sex (*innoccently batting eyelashes with the 'who? me? no way' expression* just kidding laaa)
3. Given up on trying to get certain friends away from work and more into living her/his life. Accept her/his lame reasons that she/he is a shy person and gets all sweaty and fidgety among strangers. Wanna be a hermit? Fine by me. I'll even supply the "KEEP OUT! DO NOT DISTURB" sign to put on her/his front lawn. hehehhe.
4. Given up on the idea of finding Mr Right. Maybe I should just not search. Maybe he will come to me. But as it is now, am not really looking anyway. Or maybe I should give up on expecting Mr Right to magically appear. I dunno...I'm hopeless when it comes to love..
5. Given up on friends who are too caught up with their lives that they don't return my phone call. I know that they are busy. I mean, everyone is busy. I just don't understand why they can't spare 10 seconds to sms me back. Maybe they couldn't care less, maybe they know that I'm always forgiving them, or maybe they take my friendship for granted, or maybe simply because they are just plain cheapskates. I just hope it's last one because that reason is something I can deal with.
6. Given up on being lenient on my students. They really take me for a fool. Some even came to my room after the exams to hand in their assignment and beg me to raise their grades. And this is AFTER the exams and AFTER the grades were released. How in heaven's name could that person possibly believe that I would raise his grades after all that???!!! I'm a softy at heart but this is just too much!
7. Given up on trying to fix my car. Every month it's a new rattle or a new jerk that my car gives out. And every month I try to fix atleast one thing on my car. And every month I have to forego a new blouse that I planned to buy or that hair treatment I was looking forward to. It's always my car, my car, my car!! No more... now it's gonna be me! me! me!!! (But I know this won't work out coz I really can't stand it even when my car has a sound out of place...*sigh*)

Well, I guess today is not a good day for me. Usually I am more tolerant towards people, towards life. Who knows, I'm fickle... I might change my mind tomorrow and start swearing to drivers once again. Today stinks but tomorrow is whole new ball game.

ps.. Stupid drivers really kill one's mood.

So far, I have gone thru 6 elections, of which only 3 that I actually followed and remembered. Before that, I was either too young to understand or under-exposed to the importance of the elections. And yesterday, I managed to participate in choosing the government. It felt good...

I tried to stay up and watch the results on TV but the call of slumber was so great that I hit the sack around 1am. Kind of surprised with the results. I wonder about the voting trends of Malaysians. Do they vote based on the individual running for that particular constituency or the party regardless of the person contesting? Actually, how should one vote?

Well, I was asked yesterday why I voted the person I did. I justified myself and the person asking (who by the way had a whole long list of arguments ready) miraculously didn't disagree with me. Everyone has their reasons, be it valid or not, and they are all entitled to their preference. I can't stand it when someone tries to influence me with their opinions. I mean, opinions are just that... opinions, personal beliefs... Just lay off and let me be with mine regardless of it being right or wrong. I dont mind a healthy debate but actually berating and criticizing my choice is a big no no. Anyhow, I'm glad I rushed to KL from Penang yesterday just to vote. I can't say my 'one' vote created history or anything of that impact. But I'm glad that atleast I was a small part of that history.

Wow! It has been a long time since I last updated. Even asked asmadi to tolong updatekan semlm. As always he refused to help me even in my time of need :P.

Anyway, since asmadi has blabbed it out on his blog.... yes people, this girl has gotten a year older. But dont forget, also a year wiser *grin*. Hmmm, this is a quick and brief update on the recent happenings of my life. (Nurul, aku tak update sbb not much out-of-this-world events in my life pun).

Hmmm...apa mau cerita ye? Nak cerita in BM lah. My english has gotten rusty so malas nak mengaibkan diri with my atrocious english.

Malas nak backtrack lama sgt so let's see.... Jumaat lepas I went for futsal practise di KL. Usually we all main di Subang Sport's Planet. Anyway, sampai2 je di Suite Stay (that is where we played), I ter-cultural shock kejap sbb team Srikandi tgh main dgn a team of guys. hehehhehe. I terus terasa inferior and terus mendudukkan diri di bench. Manenye I nak main with a group of guys yg sgtlah terrornya. I play for fun, setakat kejar2 bola, jerit2 sbb takut bola, terseradong bila nak sepak bola. Ni pulak nak main dgn guys. Very the malu one u know... :D. So, i jadik bench warmer je la for that night. My friends wanted to drag me out to the turf but in vain, i was immovable. hehehhehe...

Game ended at 10. I ni kononnye nak bergegas back home to catch survivor la. But then Ira told me simpy "Aku dah book karaoke for 11pm. Korg kena pergi. Aku tak kira." Kira? Kira apa? Kira2 duit ke? Dahla I was broke. Seriously! Kemiskinan melanda diri. Tapi takpe, kawan punye pasal I went anyway sambil calculating the amount of money I'd have left till my next pay. (Sheessshhh, my BM is even worse. Sorry la people.. I tend to write the way I speak... and it ain't pretty).

Anyway, when we all trooped into the karaoke room I noticed that Ira bought a birthday cake for me and Sara. Sara's birthday was a day before mine. And everyone sang 'Happy Birthday' for us. It was so sweet. I was deeply touched and surprised. It was a good thing I didnt make a big fuss about going along with them.

Yesterday was my Bday. It was a ball. Friends and family showered me with bday wishes and it lighted up my day.

Thank you to all those lovely sms'es, cards, gifts from all of you.

And you know what? Yesterday, I didnt feel old. I just felt very loved and appreciated. It was a nice feeling... :D

Got this in the mail. It's scary how very accurate it is to what I'm going through.

Being twenty-something

They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis."
It is when you stop going along
with the crowd and start realizing that there
are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like.
You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two,
but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish
and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't
exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost
touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that
they are realizing that, too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or
insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job...and it is not even
close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a
job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and
that scares you.

Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing
and find yourself judging more than usual because
suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are
constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't.

One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh
and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel
alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you
try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past
is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but
stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do
such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why
you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or
maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why
you are doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person.

One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting
wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the
same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about
the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision.

You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for
yourself.....and while winning the race would be great, right now
you'd just like to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to
it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times,
trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.